The New OCD

Hey you. How’s it going? It’s been a while since I’ve written anything on my site. Please forgive me.

I wanted to just sit & write about something that’s been weighing heavy on me. I hope I’m able to get my point across eloquently.

So, as many of you probably know, I have a YouTube channel. Not a huge one, but I’m able to interact with lovely people all around the world. About a week ago I got a comment from a subscriber that kind of… well… shook me up. The subscriber said that based off of my Instagram feed, she would love to have my lifestyle and be me. Be. Me. I immediately teared up while reading that… and not because I felt great. This person has no idea that in 72 hours I have my routine appointment with my therapist. This person has no idea that I deal with depression and anxiety to the point where there are days I can’t leave my bed because I physically cannot muster up the energy to do so (Thank God this has gotten loads better). This person does not want to be me.

With that being said, let’s discuss my title choice. “The New OCD”.

Obsessive Comparison Disorder.

Yes, absolutely made up and a play on words. But this is quite literally what I feel is happening to so many of us. Why have we become so obsessed with other people? Their lives? Their appearance? Why are we constantly comparing ourselves to other people? Why do we feel inadequate? Why aren’t we captivating?

I don’t have the answers to those questions but I do know that social media is definitely a culprit. We live in a time where we have instant “connections” through technology. We’re continuously being shown pictures of grand vacations in Bali, luxurious cars and jewelry, usually edited pictures of beautiful women that have the “Westernized ideal body” (What is the ideal body anyway?). If you’ve ever felt like you lack something because of those posts on Instagram, please understand that our society is designed in a way to make us depressed and you are not alone in feeling that way. Industries thrive off of us feeling bad about ourselves. How else would they sell you the next hottest thing to make you look good? Please understand that you are more than enough. Please understand that you are not your problematic skin. Please understand that you are your worst critic.

See, the thing is, we’re able to post whatever we want on social media. Meaning that people are comparing themselves to pictures that others INTENTIONALLY choose to show. Usually we show the good side. The fun side. Because telling everyone how bad your panic attack was while you were at work just isn’t what the world cares to see. It’s a cry for attention.

It’s so weird. It’s almost as if we’ve become these robots who aren’t allowed to be vulnerable. People can use it against us, so we stay strong and silent. But what we don’t realize is that sharing our stories through platforms that give us the ability to connect with people from all around the world gives someone (who might need to hear it) a lot of hope. That person who is constantly feeling inadequate because they’re growing up in a society that tells them “YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH” finally feels like they are not alone. And that they are, quite frankly, enough.

Although I’m not advocating for people to be this open book that tells everyone their struggles and problems, I do want people to realize that there is power in communication and truth. I never want to give off the illusion that I’m perfect. When I read that person’s comment, my heart hurt. I had someone comparing themselves to the idea of a person who has it all together. Believe me when I say that I do not have it all together. These past couple of months I’ve been completely rebuilding myself.

So to the wonderful human being who sent me that comment, you are wonderful. You are valued. Loved. Set apart. Chosen. I’m sorry that I only chose to show one side of my life to you. I hope this clears things up a bit. You and I are on this walk together.

To every other wonderful human being who took the time to read this post, I pray that you have a new appreciation for yourself. I pray that you see yourself as completely captivating in spite of what you see scrolling down your timeline every single day. I pray that you realize you are very much worthy of love, respect, and nice things (because this post was in NO WAY meant to bash anyone who is fortunate enough to have expensive things or go on nice trips. Invite ya girl next time, though! Hehe). I pray that you realize your story is worth telling. I guarantee you someone could benefit from it.

I once read a quote that said, “We are all broken. That’s how the light gets in.” 

As Jordan from soulscripts would say,

Your brokenness is welcome here.

Please feel free to shoot me a private message over on my Instagram (@valdokic) or through email (valdokic@gmail.com) if you ever need someone to talk to.

 

With an immense amount of love,

Val